Skip to main content

Home Alone

Journal Entry for Thursday, June 26

I'm on a sick leave because my doctor advised me to take a day off and really rest. I've been coughing since the beginning of June, and this week, I'm having colds and slight fever. I was given antibiotics and two other medicines to ease my breathing but I was resistant. My condition didn't get better mainly because I lack rest. The past weeks, especially last week, have been very exhausting and draining. I would sleep really late (latest, or earliest was at 3:30am) and wake early then stay up all day and all night again. Everyday, all I could pray was "Give me strength for one more day, Lord." I was so stressed with work and family matters (my parents are now in Iloilo, thanks for your prayers, they're safe!), it has already taken a toll on my body. Yesterday, I visited my doctor again, worse than ever. He gave me another set of medicines, a much expensive (but he says more effective) antibiotics, and advised me to rest. 

I knew I needed that so badly. And so today, I'm taking a day off. I was left alone since my brother went to work. I had breakfast with the Lord, seriously. I finally had the time and the perfect venue to blurt out to Him everything I've been keeping inside. All the hurt, the disappointments, the questions I dared not ask before, my fears, my hopes - everything I've pushed aside the previous weeks just because the circumstances forced me to be strong and kept me busy and distracted enough to acknowledge all my pains. 

I cried like a baby before a Father I do not see but I can so feel, even when He was silent. All throughout the morning, He just allowed me to speak my soul and cry my heart out. I knew He was listening. I also turned to the loving embrace of our dear Mother Mary. I confided to her like I would to Mama. All out. Barenaked.

My little piece of heaven. :)
When I was finally able to release all the stressors I've tried to ignore for quite some time now, I reached for my laptop with the intention to write. But I was led to read a novel which I could no longer remember where I got (probably from Anne). The title (Accidentally on Purpose) was catchy enough, but it was the dedication that really got me: "This novel is dedicated to all of my girlfriends. Never accept anything (or anyone) less than you deserve."

It was a novel about love - and the crazy things one does in order to have and keep it. The story was so interesting that I got to finish it in one sitting. Everything about it felt so real - the plot, the characters, the situations they're all in. I found myself crying from the beginning of Chapter 33 up to the last sentence. 

It was a beautiful story of a woman so desperately in love that she allowed herself to be used and abused and after realizing all the crazy things she did just to keep something that was never hers in the first place, she shut everybody off and tried to pay for the consequences of all her bad decisions alone. But it wasn't just that. It was a story of redemption too and of how true love can heal all wounds, accept all imperfections, and overpower all guilt and resentment. It felt like I attended a Princess Diaries Retreat again. :) 

Then I overheard this from our neighbor's TV: "Ang pag-ibig na nakalaan para sa'yo, hahabulin mo ba? Hahanapin? O kusa na lang darating?" It was a teaser for GMA's upcoming show, My Destiny featuring Tom Rodriguez and Carla Abellana. I just smiled and said to myself, "kusa na lang darating." You cannot force love. You can just allow it to grow. :)

In the novel that I just read, the good guy has been crushing on the woman for three years already. But he never said anything. It took him quite sometime to finally muster all the confidence to ask her out. He didn't rush things because he wanted to be sure if he really loved the woman or was just physically attracted to her. When he got hurt because of the woman's indecision, he didn't force forgiveness and healing. Everything just fell into place at the right time. 

Love indeed takes time. And if it's true love, then it's definitely worth waiting for. :)

As for me, I haven't met Luke yet, but I'm hopeful that someday I will. ♥

Popular posts from this blog

Jesus Week 2015: A Time To HEAL ♥

I had the best, most meaningful HOLY WEEK ever, so far (the best is yet to come!). :) Thanks to Joy who shared the Jesus Week poster on Facebook. It was God's personal invitation, and I couldn't thank Him enough for the grace that He also gave me to respond. Everything is grace. It was not just my personal decision to join. It was God's grace that allowed me to. 
So how did it go? Well, as what I have told my friends, it was amazingly beautiful! The experience was priceless! On Holy Monday, I posted Fr. Jerry Orbos' acronym for HOLY WEEK. I experienced all of that and more! :) 
I won't be able to share everything as there is just a lot of personal, intimate encounters with the Lord. But if I were to summarize, it was a time for me to HEAL. :) 
Halt. Indeed, I was able to stop and just rest in the Lord. Before leaving Manila, I have already told myself that this retreat will be all about Jesus (Jesus Week nga e :D). No emails, no texts, no calls. I'll just spend…

Understanding Lupang Hinirang

Every Filipino knows Lupang Hinirang (though some know it better as "Bayang Magiliw"). How can you not know it when it is the national anthem of the Philippines? But do we really mean the lyrics that we sing? Do we understand it in the first place? 


This video has gone viral weeks ago. This afternoon, I shared it to my teammates, and one commented, "Yun pala yun. Ngayon ko lang naintindihan."He immediately downloaded it and converted to MP3.
So for those who have not seen it, once again, here is Joey Ayala's version of Lupang Hinirang. And I agree, you would never want to sing it in another way. (But that's just me. :D) This rendition is simply beautiful. Truly Filipino. :) Of course that doesn't mean we need to revise our national anthem but maybe we can consider about correcting the way we sing it (read: proper pronunciation).

Read more about the Philippine National Anthem here.

P.S. I read a lot of negative comments on the original video uploaded o…

Thank You, Lord! :)

It has been a long and stressful day (the past three days have been lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng and stressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssful), but You are just so amazing, Lord that I couldn't sleep without telling You how grateful I am. :)
Thank You, Lord for the miracle that You did yesterday. Break even and more. :)
Thank You, Lord for the laughter and stories shared during the post-mission meeting with Team Thailand. :)
Thank You, Lord for Lawrence. He is just the (almost) perfect man. He has his flaws, but they are acceptable; he makes mistakes, but they are all forgivable. There are a lot of men but there can never be anyone else. He's really the one. And You know it very well. :)
Thank You, Lord for giving me strength and endurance each day. :)
Thank You, Lord for the short but restful sleeps. :)
Thank You, Lord for every waking moment and every opportunity that You give me to proclaim Your greatness. :) Thank You, Lord for Your message through Fr. Frank. I heard it loud…

The Holy Spirit*

*Cluster 4 Household Topic
Reflections from John 15:26-16:4

True friendship is strengthened in adversity. Jesus offers His disciples the best and truest of friends. Who is this promised friend? 
Jesus calls the Holy Spirit our Counselor and Advocate (also translated Paraclete or Helper). Counselor is a legal term for the one who will defend someone against an adversary and who guides that person during the ordeal of trial. The Holy Spirit is our Advocate and Helper who brings us safely through the challenges and adversities we must face in this life. As Jesus approaches the hour that He was to be glorified - through His death on the cross and His resurrection - He revealed more fully to His disciples the person and the role of the Holy Spirit. What does Jesus tell us about the Holy Spirit? 
First, the Holy Spirit is inseparably one with the Father and the Son. It is the Holy Spirit who gives life - the very life of God - and who kindles faith in hearts receptive to God's word. The S…

Just Be Grateful :)

We just had our sector GRATEFUL assembly and six sharers testified to God's goodness and faithfulness.
Boggs is grateful for the blessing of a new job and a possible promotion this month (let's pray for that). Ellen is grateful for the gift of community and God's means to keep her ablaze in service. Albert is grateful for a new life in Christ through the CLP. Shiela is grateful for the gift of health and a second chance to live. Cha is grateful for brothers and sisters in the community who made her experience God's redeeming love, and the realization that God will truly replace what was lost with something better, something more beautiful. Kuya Boyce is grateful for the gift of relationship.
As I was listening to their stories, I can't help but be amazed at how the Lord works wonders in each of our lives. And I was reminded of my own blessings, too. :) And so for this post, allow me to share the things for which I am grateful. :)
I am grateful for the cross becaus…