Journal Entry for Sunday, June 22
My brother and I just moved in to a new place that will become our home while we're in Manila. For me, that will be until I have decided to stay in Iloilo for good or until I get married and move to my own place (with my husband, of course), whichever comes first. :)
On Tuesday, June 24, my parents are leaving for Iloilo to start a better, simpler life. I am excited but at the same time, I am scared. I haven't been away from my parents for more than a month. I haven't tried living on my own for more than a week. But as written in Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything.
Now is the time for me to be truly SINGLE - to draw away from the traditional structure of family, to learn to live away from the care of my mother and the protection of my father, to be more independent yet more dependent on God (because I know I can only make it through His grace, I can never survive on my own, really).
On our first night here, I have validated my father's report that there is no Sun signal here and not only that, there's no Smart signal too! Seriously, the only signal available here is Globe. And since I no longer have a Globe line nor SIM, I felt so disconnected.
My brother said I should treat it as a reminder from the Lord that when I go home I should only be resting. He has a point. But what if there is an urgent need? How can I be contacted? Or how can I contact the people who are concerned about my well-being, especially my parents, and tell them I got home safe from whatever event I came from and that I am doing good?
Papa insisted that I get a Globe SIM, because again, that's the only network available here. Well, I don't think I still have a choice. But just for tonight, I chose to be disconnected and unreachable. Because tonight, I chose to be connected and reach out to God... privately, silently, solemnly.
The priest said during the homily at the mass I attended this afternoon, "Sa pagtanggap natin sa katawan at dugo ni Kristo sa banal na pakikinabang, tayo nawa ay maging tunay na bagong Kristo sa mundo." (As we receive the Body and Blood of Christ in Holy Communion, may we truly become new Christs to the world.) I was reminded of the theme of CFC's 33rd anniversary this year: Alter Christus (Another Christ). Then I realized that to become like Christ, we must be connected and reach out to Him. To be an Alter Christus requires knowledge and experience of Christ Himself, and that will only be possible through spending quality time with Him in prayer, study, service, fellowship, and frequent reception of the Sacraments.
Tonight, I am disconnected from the rest of the world. God knew I needed it. I've been running on empty for quite some time now - almost empty love tank, almost empty pocket, almost empty physical charge. And I need to charge again. I need to be connected to the Ultimate Source. I need to have this time with Him alone. :)
During mass, I was supposed to take a photo of just the altar but I got this:
And this personal message from the Lord: You are reserved for Me, My beloved Aiza. You are mine. I love You!
And because I hear "I Love You"s more in a song, He even sang: "Akin ka na lang, iingatan Ko ang puso mo. Akin ka na lang, liligaya ka sa pag-ibig Ko." :)
Salamat, Panginoon. Nagtitiwala ako sa plano Mo dahil alam kong mahal na mahal Mo ako. ♥