Skip to main content

Thirty-Three: Dying Inside

Today, I am blessed! :)

This morning, we had the continuation of the Covenant Orientation Weekend and I'm so thankful that it was a success. A brother came up to me and thanked me for organizing the weekend. I thanked him back because if not for them, all the preparations would mean nothing. God be truly praised!

After the CO Weekend, we went to the venue of our MV household (Lance's house) and waited for Kuya Alain and Ate Mel. There were five of us - Kuya Alain, Ate Mel, Lance, Ate Gems, and me - and we had an intimate discussion on the topic prepared by Ate Mel. Then we went to Rosario Church to hear mass. We arrived just in time for the last mass for the day and the homily by Fr. Lito was, coincidentally, about covenant. :)

But for today's post, I'd like to focus on the topic that we had during the household.

The key verse was taken from Galatians 2:20. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

We had the following points for discussion:

1. Do you truly believe in your heart that it is no longer you who live but it is Christ who lives in you, it is Christ who you become?

2. What difficulty we have recently encountered which hindered us to really live in Christ?

3. What experiences of 2012 that you consider an offering to Christ?

I won't share in detail but I'd give a summary.

I consider every experience of this year as an offering to Christ. Since the beginning of 2012, when I left my comfort zone and my "green pasture" (Splash), everything is already an offering. Everything is already about trust and surrender. And while I cannot completely say just yet that it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me, I believe that I am getting there. I am a work in progress, and God is still in the process of purifying me to become like Him, but again, I am getting there. Who I am now is no longer just me. It's a product of all the hurts and terror of the past, and the person that God is molding me to become. Little by little. Slowly, but surely. :)

Four years ago, in one of my posts in my previous blog, I wrote, "Consider me dead." At that time, I was going through a deep emotional trauma and I really felt like the old me has died already. Little did I know back then, that dying is actually part of living. That it's good for me to experience death - death to self - so that Christ may live in me. Now, everytime I feel I'm dying, I thank the Lord, because I know it's His way of entering my heart, breathing in me, and making me just like Him. I cherish those moments when I 'die' because those are the moments when God is living in me. And I pray that everyday, I may die to myself so that Christ may completely live in me. My ultimate goal is for people not to see and experience me but the God who loves and lives in me. :)

Let me end with this song. I first heard it in Bohol during the Great God Conference, and of all the songs played there, this left a mark in my heart. Because this is my song. :)


These hands will declare all the greatness of God in me
And my mouth will proclaim all the wonders He made me see

Oh God, reign forever
Oh Lord, consume me now

Now Christ is the strength of a heart that once set in the dark
In His hope I'm made whole, now His freedom that saves my soul

Oh God, reign forever
Oh Lord, consume me now

Great is Your love oh God in me
Great is Your love oh God in me
And I pray that all the world will see, and know, and sing Your name alone

No longer I but Christ in me
My heart desires in His majesty


Popular posts from this blog

Jesus Week: A Time To HEAL ♥

I had the best, most meaningful HOLY WEEK ever, so far (the best is yet to come!). :) Thanks to Joy who shared the Jesus Week poster on Facebook. It was God's personal invitation, and I couldn't thank Him enough for the grace that He also gave me to respond. Everything is grace. It was not just my personal decision to join. It was God's grace that allowed me to. 
So how did it go? Well, as what I have told my friends, it was amazingly beautiful! The experience was priceless! On Holy Monday, I posted Fr. Jerry Orbos' acronym for HOLY WEEK. I experienced all of that and more! :) 
I won't be able to share everything as there is just a lot of personal, intimate encounters with the Lord. But if I were to summarize, it was a time for me to HEAL. :) 
Halt. Indeed, I was able to stop and just rest in the Lord. Before leaving Manila, I have already told myself that this retreat will be all about Jesus (Jesus Week nga e :D). No emails, no texts, no calls. I'll just spend…

Understanding Lupang Hinirang

Every Filipino knows Lupang Hinirang (though some know it better as "Bayang Magiliw"). How can you not know it when it is the national anthem of the Philippines? But do we really mean the lyrics that we sing? Do we understand it in the first place? 


This video has gone viral weeks ago. This afternoon, I shared it to my teammates, and one commented, "Yun pala yun. Ngayon ko lang naintindihan."He immediately downloaded it and converted to MP3.
So for those who have not seen it, once again, here is Joey Ayala's version of Lupang Hinirang. And I agree, you would never want to sing it in another way. (But that's just me. :D) This rendition is simply beautiful. Truly Filipino. :) Of course that doesn't mean we need to revise our national anthem but maybe we can consider about correcting the way we sing it (read: proper pronunciation).

Read more about the Philippine National Anthem here.

P.S. I read a lot of negative comments on the original video uploaded o…

Thank You, Lord! :)

It has been a long and stressful day (the past three days have been lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng and stressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssful), but You are just so amazing, Lord that I couldn't sleep without telling You how grateful I am. :)
Thank You, Lord for the miracle that You did yesterday. Break even and more. :)
Thank You, Lord for the laughter and stories shared during the post-mission meeting with Team Thailand. :)
Thank You, Lord for Lawrence. He is just the (almost) perfect man. He has his flaws, but they are acceptable; he makes mistakes, but they are all forgivable. There are a lot of men but there can never be anyone else. He's really the one. And You know it very well. :)
Thank You, Lord for giving me strength and endurance each day. :)
Thank You, Lord for the short but restful sleeps. :)
Thank You, Lord for every waking moment and every opportunity that You give me to proclaim Your greatness. :) Thank You, Lord for Your message through Fr. Frank. I heard it loud…

The Holy Spirit*

*Cluster 4 Household Topic
Reflections from John 15:26-16:4

True friendship is strengthened in adversity. Jesus offers His disciples the best and truest of friends. Who is this promised friend? 
Jesus calls the Holy Spirit our Counselor and Advocate (also translated Paraclete or Helper). Counselor is a legal term for the one who will defend someone against an adversary and who guides that person during the ordeal of trial. The Holy Spirit is our Advocate and Helper who brings us safely through the challenges and adversities we must face in this life. As Jesus approaches the hour that He was to be glorified - through His death on the cross and His resurrection - He revealed more fully to His disciples the person and the role of the Holy Spirit. What does Jesus tell us about the Holy Spirit? 
First, the Holy Spirit is inseparably one with the Father and the Son. It is the Holy Spirit who gives life - the very life of God - and who kindles faith in hearts receptive to God's word. The S…

Just Be Grateful :)

We just had our sector GRATEFUL assembly and six sharers testified to God's goodness and faithfulness.
Boggs is grateful for the blessing of a new job and a possible promotion this month (let's pray for that). Ellen is grateful for the gift of community and God's means to keep her ablaze in service. Albert is grateful for a new life in Christ through the CLP. Shiela is grateful for the gift of health and a second chance to live. Cha is grateful for brothers and sisters in the community who made her experience God's redeeming love, and the realization that God will truly replace what was lost with something better, something more beautiful. Kuya Boyce is grateful for the gift of relationship.
As I was listening to their stories, I can't help but be amazed at how the Lord works wonders in each of our lives. And I was reminded of my own blessings, too. :) And so for this post, allow me to share the things for which I am grateful. :)
I am grateful for the cross becaus…