When I learned that it's going to be a long weekend, my brain suddenly became busy thinking of things to do and places to go to. I came up with a lot but on top of everything that I listed was Baguio! It has been my go-to place. There's the PMA, and now the Assumption Sabbath Place where my new spiritual director resides.
Kung ako lang talaga ang masusunod, I would have spend the long weekend up north. Thing is, hindi ako ang nasunod - yung wallet at katawan ko.
Due to health and financial constraints, I had no choice but to stay in Manila.
Of course at first I was frustrated. And I kept on whining. I envied the people who seemed to enjoy their weekend getaway, who got an overdose of vitamin sea, those who went out of the country. Buti pa sila mahal ng Diyos.
I never doubted God's love for me, but sometimes, when you're sick and broke and alone, and you see others enjoying the company of family and friends, you can't help but think that probably God loves them more. And you ask questions like, "why can't I be like them?" or "why can't I have what they have?"
Thank heavens God is a God of answers. He knows everything - our frustrations, disappointments, plans, hopes, dreams, fears, and all the questions we have in mind. AND He has all the answers. But He waits for us to come to Him and ask Him and tell Him everything.
And so on Friday, I was writing in my journal about how I feel, how sick and tired I was, how I lost my appetite on life itself. I got an invite from Paolo but honestly, I was too lazy to even get up. There is still discomfort (actually I feel there's a war going on in my tummy) and I wasn't feeling 100% okay. I tried to distract myself from the pain by decluttering, but early in the afternoon, I felt the urge to go out. So I went to meet with them.
On Saturday, I had no plans but when I told Paolo that there's a fireworks competition in Riverbanks, he said that we'll go. But I did not expect anything so I went on with my cleaning and doing the laundry. Until he arrived to fetch me.
|I'm a happy kid. 😍|
On Sunday, I knew I'd be going to mass all by myself because Paolo needed to be at home with his family and he has scheduled some personal errands too, and it was a bonus already that I actually got to spend time with him for two straight days (Friday and Saturday). We're on a semi-LDR and we only get to see each other once a week, on Sundays, to hear mass together (or when I need to be in a hospital). But God surprised me with a text message from a college girlfriend, Chai. We met after mass, had dinner at Pho Hoa, and chilled at DQ.
Monday was still a holiday and as expected, I was still cleaning. Then I got a call from another college girlfriend, Alpha, who lives in the South but has come to the North and wants to meet with us northerners. I actually live in Cainta, which makes me an easterner, but I work in QC and spend most of my time there, so yeah, that makes me a northerner too. :D
So what's the point of this lengthy account of my activities during the long weekend?
"Allow yourself to be loved." That was God's personal invitation to me. The only reason why I sometimes think that He loves others more than He loves me is I have failed to allow Him to love me. Or I was too busy looking at how He loves other people that I have already ignored how He loves me.
It took the long weekend for me to be reminded once again that God does not love me any less. He loves me and you and all of us equally, but differently. We just have to be sensitive and appreciative enough.
To me, God's love came through the sweet smiles of our dear Mikaela (Paolo's niece) who is such a bundle of joy. She brings the family together and it's such a beautiful sight. :)
|Mikay is life. 😍|
God's love was through the fireworks that painted the sky with beautiful colors. It was also through the little girl who marveled with me while we're watching the fireworks display from the bridge at SM Marikina. How she sweetly asked, "wala na?" when it was finally over. I did not know her but I felt like we were connected in one way or another. Baka siya ang nawawala kong anak. Char. It was in the little boy's smile at Classic Savory where we had our dinner (oha, di kami nag-foodcourt, for a change. :D).
God's love was through Chai's thoughtfulness. Her "wala lang, baka kailangan mo ng friend today." really made my heart melt.
|Thank you, Chai! 😘|
God's love was through Tweet2 - a few good friends from college who have become my best friends for life. And through our little chicks - Eliana Chasdi and Raia Mikelle. Oh how I love little girls (and boys too!). ♥
|Titas of Manila. 😁|
|6 months of God's faithfulness. 🙏|
|Super special Eliana Chasdi. 😊|
And of course God's love was through Paolo - the "nobody" boyfriend (because nobody's PERFECT. LOL. nahahawa na talaga ako sa ka-cornyhan niya. haha. :D). Sabi nga ni Ate Chie, kay Paolo lang daw ako walang reklamo. Ang totoo, meron. Dati. :D But as the days and months go by, I have come to appreciate and love all that he is. He may not be the Dingdong Dantes or the Chito Miranda or the Drew Arellano (they're the ideal husbands who I follow on Instagram :D) but he is my Nico Bolzico. Naks. Feeling Solenn. Haha. I swear I could talk about Paolo all day, and how he taught me about practical love (that's what I like to call it).
|I will always be grateful for you. 😍|