Skip to main content

Allow Yourself To Be Loved :)

On Maundy Thursday, one of our activities in the Jesus Week was the Washing of the Feet. Let me begin by sharing the introduction to the ritual: 
Tonight, let the physical act of washing one's feet and the openness of allowing one's feet to be washed remind us of Jesus' openness to enter into the spirit of community living. Jesus is a servant, a slave who wants to humbly reveal to us and say to each one of us "I LOVE YOU" and "I AM WITH YOU."
Touch is the sense of love. Jesus touched with tenderness and so we are also being invited to do the same. To discover the tenderness in us in a form of love. It creates a movement of oneness. The actual touching of the body of the disciples is important to Jesus who treats them as temples of the Holy Spirit. Our body is the place where the Spirit resides. 
The washing of the feet is about relationship, a relationship of TENDERNESS. We use our hands to serve. Let us allow the tender hands of Jesus to touch us through our brothers and sisters. In the gesture of extending our foot to be washed, let us allow ourselves to be served. Let these parts of our body speak to us. They have something to tell us, like the whole life of Jesus which is revealed in gestures. Jesus calls us to do what He did gently, wanting to serve each other.  
After the activity, we were given time for Adoration, Reflection, and Journal-Writing. And here's what I wrote on my journal: 

2 April 2015
Maundy Thursday

I felt cleansed, special, and at the same time, humbled. The person who washed my foot was someone I don't personally know. Her name is Gail. That's all I know. But I wouldn't forget how she lovingly washed my foot and kissed it. I was worried and conscious during the activity because my right foot, the one that she washed and kissed, still had that ugly scar from the motorcycle accident last year. Nakakahiya yung itsura ng paa kong yun. Kahit ako hindi ko kayang tingnan ng matagal kasi hanggang ngayon, nandidiri pa rin ako. And every time I look at it, I remember the excruciating pain that I felt while I was lying on the rocky ground with the motorcycle's muffler burning my skin. And worse, Papa was the driver. I must admit that somehow that accident created a gap between us. I have already forgiven Papa because I know he didn't want it to happen and I have seen how sorry he was. Before I left Iloilo after Lola's death, we had a very emotional encounter. But as I said, the scar is still there (and I guess it would be there forever, so future husband, that's another thing about me that I hope you could also accept), and every time I see it, I remember everything. 

When Sis Gail washed and kissed that foot, I felt it was God embracing me, telling me lovingly, "Anak, mahal na mahal Kita. Kilala Kita at alam Ko lahat ng tungkol sa 'yo. Lahat ng hindi mo kayang tanggapin sa sarili mo, lahat ng hindi mo gusto sa buhay mo, alam Ko yun. At sinasabi ko sa 'yo, mahal Kita sa kabila ng lahat ng yun. Tanggap Kita kasama ng lahat ng kahinaan, kasalanan, karumihan, at kakulangan mo. Tanggap Kita dahil Akin ka." (My Child, I love you very much. I know you. I know everything about you. I know what you don't like and what you can't accept in your life. And I am telling you, I love you despite everything. I accept you with all your weaknesses, sins, blemishes, and imperfections. I accept you because you are Mine.)

Sometimes I wonder if I'm still deserving to be loved, to be found by a man who would take me and love me as I am - flaws, scars, and ugliness. But God assured me, through the washing of the feet, most especially, that He loves me no matter what. Yes, I deserve to be loved even if I feel unworthy because at the Cross, Jesus was thinking of me and He had nothing to say but "I love you too much... this much. You are deserving of My life."

During Adoration, the Lord continued to speak: "Allow yourself to be loved, Aiza." God knows how I have grown to be an independent woman because of the circumstances that I had to face especially during the last three years. Now He reminds me that I can't go on loving and serving without allowing myself to be loved and be served as well. Otherwise, my love tank would eventually run dry and empty. 

I thank the Lord for this new perspective. And I ask for the grace to be able to accept love from other people, to never question their intention, and to never doubt if it's genuine or not. :)

Sarah Dessen said it beautifully: "Holding people away from you, and denying yourself love, that doesn't make you strong. If anything, it makes you weaker. Because you're doing it out of fear." 

***
Photo Credit: QuoteHD.com

Allow yourself to be loved... "and don't be surprised if your heart begins to hear music you've never heard and your feet learn to dance as never before." ♥

*****
Happy 500th post! :D

Popular posts from this blog

Jesus Week 2015: A Time To HEAL ♥

I had the best, most meaningful HOLY WEEK ever, so far (the best is yet to come!). :) Thanks to Joy who shared the Jesus Week poster on Facebook. It was God's personal invitation, and I couldn't thank Him enough for the grace that He also gave me to respond. Everything is grace. It was not just my personal decision to join. It was God's grace that allowed me to. 
So how did it go? Well, as what I have told my friends, it was amazingly beautiful! The experience was priceless! On Holy Monday, I posted Fr. Jerry Orbos' acronym for HOLY WEEK. I experienced all of that and more! :) 
I won't be able to share everything as there is just a lot of personal, intimate encounters with the Lord. But if I were to summarize, it was a time for me to HEAL. :) 
Halt. Indeed, I was able to stop and just rest in the Lord. Before leaving Manila, I have already told myself that this retreat will be all about Jesus (Jesus Week nga e :D). No emails, no texts, no calls. I'll just spend…

Understanding Lupang Hinirang

Every Filipino knows Lupang Hinirang (though some know it better as "Bayang Magiliw"). How can you not know it when it is the national anthem of the Philippines? But do we really mean the lyrics that we sing? Do we understand it in the first place? 


This video has gone viral weeks ago. This afternoon, I shared it to my teammates, and one commented, "Yun pala yun. Ngayon ko lang naintindihan."He immediately downloaded it and converted to MP3.
So for those who have not seen it, once again, here is Joey Ayala's version of Lupang Hinirang. And I agree, you would never want to sing it in another way. (But that's just me. :D) This rendition is simply beautiful. Truly Filipino. :) Of course that doesn't mean we need to revise our national anthem but maybe we can consider about correcting the way we sing it (read: proper pronunciation).

Read more about the Philippine National Anthem here.

P.S. I read a lot of negative comments on the original video uploaded o…

Thank You, Lord! :)

It has been a long and stressful day (the past three days have been lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng and stressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssful), but You are just so amazing, Lord that I couldn't sleep without telling You how grateful I am. :)
Thank You, Lord for the miracle that You did yesterday. Break even and more. :)
Thank You, Lord for the laughter and stories shared during the post-mission meeting with Team Thailand. :)
Thank You, Lord for Lawrence. He is just the (almost) perfect man. He has his flaws, but they are acceptable; he makes mistakes, but they are all forgivable. There are a lot of men but there can never be anyone else. He's really the one. And You know it very well. :)
Thank You, Lord for giving me strength and endurance each day. :)
Thank You, Lord for the short but restful sleeps. :)
Thank You, Lord for every waking moment and every opportunity that You give me to proclaim Your greatness. :) Thank You, Lord for Your message through Fr. Frank. I heard it loud…

The Holy Spirit*

*Cluster 4 Household Topic
Reflections from John 15:26-16:4

True friendship is strengthened in adversity. Jesus offers His disciples the best and truest of friends. Who is this promised friend? 
Jesus calls the Holy Spirit our Counselor and Advocate (also translated Paraclete or Helper). Counselor is a legal term for the one who will defend someone against an adversary and who guides that person during the ordeal of trial. The Holy Spirit is our Advocate and Helper who brings us safely through the challenges and adversities we must face in this life. As Jesus approaches the hour that He was to be glorified - through His death on the cross and His resurrection - He revealed more fully to His disciples the person and the role of the Holy Spirit. What does Jesus tell us about the Holy Spirit? 
First, the Holy Spirit is inseparably one with the Father and the Son. It is the Holy Spirit who gives life - the very life of God - and who kindles faith in hearts receptive to God's word. The S…

Just Be Grateful :)

We just had our sector GRATEFUL assembly and six sharers testified to God's goodness and faithfulness.
Boggs is grateful for the blessing of a new job and a possible promotion this month (let's pray for that). Ellen is grateful for the gift of community and God's means to keep her ablaze in service. Albert is grateful for a new life in Christ through the CLP. Shiela is grateful for the gift of health and a second chance to live. Cha is grateful for brothers and sisters in the community who made her experience God's redeeming love, and the realization that God will truly replace what was lost with something better, something more beautiful. Kuya Boyce is grateful for the gift of relationship.
As I was listening to their stories, I can't help but be amazed at how the Lord works wonders in each of our lives. And I was reminded of my own blessings, too. :) And so for this post, allow me to share the things for which I am grateful. :)
I am grateful for the cross becaus…