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Stronger

"You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option."

Yesterday, I got to prove that yet again. 

Since I have been in a relationship with my headache for a week now and with my toothache for more than a month already, I finally decided to set an appointment with my dentist. 

I told her I still have work in the afternoon so we scheduled it in the morning. She said two hours is more than enough. 

My headache was still killing me softly so I got up a little late. Traffic was also bad, so by the time I was seated on the dental chair, it was already 11AM. My dentist said we can finish by 1PM. 

It wasn't my first time to undergo tooth extraction, and I thought to myself, heck, I've been through two surgeries already, this should be easy. 

After several shots of anesthesia, my dentist was ready to extract the tooth that has been causing me pain. After two hours, she still wasn't able to get it. Apparently, it wasn't just a simple tooth extraction. It needed surgery. Letter J ba naman yung ipin ko e. A few more shots of anesthesia, and another hour. 

I was exhausted, stressed, drained. I was so groggy but my dentist did her best to keep me awake by showing me once in a while what's already happening. For those who know me well, you know I hate blood. But yesterday, I've seen too much of it. (Sa sobrang stress, dinugo uli ako kahit pa natapos na ang menstruation ko days ago.) 

After the procedure, I stayed a little longer until I gained enough strength to walk. I felt horrible. I looked horrible. I almost freaked out when I saw my disfigured face in the mirror. Dra. Jes said it's because of the anesthesia, but it will be back to normal after a few hours (glad it did!). Still, I was bothered. 

When I could already manage to get up and walk, I went to the nearest convenience store and bought Vitamilk and Ice Cream. The cashier, Eunice, already guessed that I just came from the dentist. By the time I finished the first cup of ice cream, the excruciating pain bothered me again. I bought two more cups of ice cream, and Eunice worriedly asked, "Ma'am, okay ka lang po? Kaya pa po?" I just nodded. Kakayanin. Wala naman akong choice e. 

I realized I could not make it to work with the current condition that I have. And so, after informing my employer, I decided to book a Grab home. Unfortunately, no one was available. I understood. Traffic in Ortigas Avenue is horrible. So I took the jeepney to Junction. At first I was thinking of just texting somebody, Ate Chie maybe, and ask them to buy me medicines and ice cream so I could head home straight. But God didn't want me to bother anyone else. Bawal daw akong masanay na may inaasahan. I got on a wrong jeepney and found myself dropped off in front of a Mercury Drug. Natawa na lang ako. 

After buying my medicines (antibiotics for the nth time! *sigh*) and some stuff I would need, I made sure to ride the correct jeepney. I arrived at the apartment at around 4PM. Mugto ang mga mata kakaiyak sa sakit. 

I applied cold compress on my already swollen face and cried myself to sleep. 

It was tooooooooooooooooo painful. I thought I could not make it alive. And no, I'm not exaggerating. My friends know I have a high tolerance for pain (yes, both physical and emotional!), but what I experienced yesterday was way beyond my threshold. Or so I thought. 

Thank God I'm still alive! See I'm still typing this very long blog. Haha. 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And yes, I feel stronger now! I thought I was strong enough already after everything I have gone through these past years, but after yesterday, I realized, I could be STRONGER. 

My previous blog entry talked about God's grace, and how it is sufficient for our daily needs. Indeed, He won't give us what we can't bear. And if we feel that we're being stretched to way beyond our limits, then it means He's just making us grow. :)

To be honest, I woke up today feeling super! Kulang na lang sumigaw ako ng Darna! Haha. I know this experience of mine is nothing compared to what others may be going through. But this is just the right experience for me to learn and realize that as long as I have God, I can do anything! 

During a meeting last Friday, someone I really look up to commented: "Kayang-kaya ni Aiza yan (referring to a system enhancement that a ministry is requesting)! Ang motto niyan, motto ng Marines e: Ask us to do the difficult, we will do it. Ask us to do the impossible, give us time." 

I was speechless. Does he really think I can? But then again, after yesterday, I feel like I can do anything already! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, right? (Philippians 4:13) 

So you little fella who tries to bring me down, I'm sorry! You can try harder next time, but know that I will only come out stronger and better than ever! Not because I'm Wonderwoman (maybe in a way, because I really WONDER a lot :p), but because I have a God of wonders! And yes, He's the strongest! And He is faithful! And He will never ever let me down! :)

Three freaking hours on this dental chair!

Special shoutout to my dentist, Dra. Jes Gaytano who never gave up on my impakto tooth. Extra challenge nga raw for her, but she still did her best, even if it means wiping off not just the blood on my face but also the tears that kept flowing from my eyes. 

Also to my brother who called me up just to say, "Kaya mo yan, Ate!"

I feel so loved. I am loved. ♥
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