Marriage Is Not For Me

If I could ask God just one question today, it'll be this: WHY IS EVERYBODY GETTING EITHER ENGAGED OR MARRIED?! WHY?!

I swear there's no bitterness in that. Haha.

As what I have previously shared, I have come to realize that I'm not getting any younger because of social media. Sa totoo lang, tuwing binubuksan ko ang aking Facebook account, ang mga nakikita ko sa News Feed ay isang malaking sampal sa mukha at sigaw sa tainga na ako'y matanda na. Okay. Exaggerated. :D

But seriously, everything I see nowadays is all about marriage and family - engagements, proposals, weddings, babies, etc. And I really am happy for them. :)

Just this morning, I heard that some lady is getting a bit impatient because the man she's been dating for two months now hasn't popped the question yet. Goodness! Nagmamadali masyado si ate. Kamusta naman ang ibang relationships na more than 7 years na? Well, siguro nga wala talaga yan sa haba o ikli ng pinagsamahan. Kung kayo, kayo talaga. Kaya go, pakasal na! :D

And speaking of marriage, my former instructor in college (who got married just last year) shared a link on Facebook which I find interesting (because I'm really into weddings, marriages, family life, nature, music, and everything beautiful). When I saw the title, I know there's something deep in it. And so I clicked on the link and read.

To my amazement, I just read the simplest marriage advice there is:

"Marriage isn't for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn't for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn't for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married."

Surely, I've heard it several times before. Love is not about you. But the above advice is just so plain and simple that I couldn't help but share it. :)

I continued reading and was deeply touched by the author's testimony. And I quote, "It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn't make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”

How I wish every single man on earth gets to read it before even deciding to start a relationship.

If you happen to know someone who needs this message, give them the link to the original article. :)

So what do I feel after reading and reflecting on the beautifully-written piece? Convicted.

My vocation is to be a wife and a mother, in that order. Marriage is not for me. It is for my future husband and my future children. It is for God's plan to happen. :)

To have and to hold. To cherish and honor. To live and die with.

I hope and pray that every couple who gets married does it for all the right reasons. Marriage is sacred and for it to be truly holy, then it must be done at the right place, at the right time, with the right intentions. :)

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